Pilot, Pt. 2

Enter Agent Dale Cooper of the FBI, 34 minutes in. He sets the scene, with every detail (every detail) while talking into a tape recorder for the infamous Diane. Right away, we realize that Cooper is nothing short of eccentric, needs nothing more than a clean and reasonably priced motel, and likes himself a nice slice of cherry pie. And trees, must not forget those trees. Douglas Firs, they're really something. But why is he really here? Why would an FBI agent be involved in such a case? It's a murder with an investigation that hasn't even begun yet. What makes this so special to the FBI? Agent Cooper is especially interested in the victims' fingernails. He finds nothing underneath Ronnette's (who is now unconscious and hospitalized), but under Laura's he finds...

We meet Dr. Jacoby, a psychiatrist played by Russ Tamblyn, and at last the bffs Tony and Riff can be together again. (I've only just discovered that Richard Beymer aka Tony in West Side Story plays Ben Horne, and of course Tamblyn is Riff. This makes me very happy.) Truman does not wish to speak with Jacoby, because Jacoby is, like everyone else in this godforsaken town, madder than a hatter. He wears corks in his ears, likes the idea of looking at Laura's dead body, and is even more amused by the fact that Laura's parents didn't know that Laura was seeing him. Oh, and his shoes are BRIGHT BLUE.

I repeat, Cooper finds nothing underneath Ronnette's fingernails, but under Laura's, he finds the letter R. This is serious business. So serious, Diane needs to make sure Albert, not Sam, takes care of this business. (Albert is on the ball.) The significance of the letter R? There was another murder, a year ago, in a town nearby. A girl named Teresa Banks. Presumably, there was something under her nail as well. These murders, Cooper believes, are connected.

More about Donna and James, unfortunately. The two of them seem to be fairly good friends with this one fellow, Ed. Ed is in love with the owner of the restaurant Shelly works at, Mona, but he is married to a lunatic woman who wears an eye-patch and has a ceaseless war with curtains. Mona is also married, to someone who is in jail. WHAT FOR?! Manslaughter. James hands Ed a note to give to Donna. The note tells her to meet James at The Roadhouse. The Roadhouse is a happening joint. There's singing, lots of guys in flannel. Place. To. Be. You should check it out.

Back to things we give a damn about. Cooper and Truman go through Laura's belongings and find a video and a diary. And, most importantly, a small box of chocolate bunnies. From this diary, we learn that Laura hates asparagus, and she is going to meet someone referred to only as J. There is also a key in the diary in a bag. Also in the bag is something white. Cooper bets it's cocaine. Truman disagrees. Cooper knows better. The key opens a safety deposit box. Inside the box is a magazine called Flesh World. Inside Flesh World is a picture of Ronnette Pulaski. Oh, and there's over 10 thousand dollars in the box as well. "That's a lot of girl scout cookies."

On the video, we discover with Bobby, is footage of a picnic with Laura, Donna, and a mysterious cameraman. Cooper has an idea who the cameraman is, and obviously doesn't expect Bobby to tell him. Bobby has an idea who the cameraman, and obviously won't tell Cooper. Cooper doesn't care for Bobby. But he does know one thing:


What do Bobby and Cooper know? That the cameraman is a biker. What do we know? It's James, obviously. Donna knows this, but she's starting off her trend of lying to the police. Sigh. The police found the place Laura was obviously murdered, and there they find half of a heart necklace. They assume the killer has the other half.. And do you know who has it? James. But we all know James is too much of a sissy to have had anything to do with the murder. Donna still thinks that James is a tough guy, though, and the two of them think that other people will be stupid enough to assume that James did it.

So Donna goes to the Roadhouse, to be driven on a motorcylce by a friend of James', to meet up with James himself. Cooper and Truman follow to the best of their abilities. Donna and James "bury" the necklace by sprinkling a handful of dirt over top then covering it with a rock, and then they bolt. Oh, but they kiss first, in regard to which James says one of the lamest thing ever. "I'm sorry. [second pause] I changed my mind. I'm NOT sorry." Ugh. Cooper and Truman catch them, and arrest James, even though they know he's not guilty. There was also a fight at The Roadhouse, started by Bobby and his idiot friend/Donna's idiot boyfriend, Mike, so those two fellas are in jail as well, and they make barking noises at James. This makes a lot of sense.

Back at the station, Cooper and Truman are presented with a whole lot of doughnuts, and god, do I ever crave them. The doughnuts. Not Cooper and Truman. Truman recommends Cooper a clean and reasonably priced place to stay: The Great Northern!

After Doughnut Feast No. 1, Sheriff goes off to make out with Josie Packard. He had a productive day. Catherine Martell talks to Ben Horne on the phone. What could this mean? Laura's mother dreams of someone picking up a rock and lifting up a necklace of half of a heart. This terrifies her, and she screams and cries some more, because she's out of her goddamn mind.


Odds and Ends:
ONE-ARMED MAN SPOTTING, 39:20!
LOG LADY SIGHTING AT ONE HOUR FOUR MINUTES!
Donna's sister is awesome, but is also an idiot. Donna's mother is in a wheelchair. Donna's father is a swell guy. Everyone in Donna's family is infinitely more interesting than Donna herself.


So what do I think of this episode now, after having already seen the entirety of the show? I like it. I like it a lot. This is possibly only because I now know the characters, and I know greatness is to come. So would I recommend this episode to the rest of the world? Hell, I don't know. It has to be seen eventually, of course, but don't let it turn you off if you don't like it.