Haven't been quite in a Twin Peaks mood this past week, but, until next time, enjoy this little image which I just came upon in my Simpsons travels:
Burns' suit! Burns' suit!
Monday, November 15, 2010
Saturday, November 6, 2010
Episode 7: Realization Time (or How Do You Feel About Green Silk?)
Cooper didn't know what he was doing when he flirted with Audrey Horne. Audrey takes "taking the initiative" to a level most girls would not quite dare to go. But Audrey is not like most girls, and though I may scoff at Cooper for underestimating her- really? Naked in his bed? Woman, tone it down a smidge. Cooper may have been glad to continue the harmless flirting for a while, then maybe a little down the line, once he's moved into his own little log cabin, wait out Audrey's high school and early college years. But no.
Cooper turns her down and says, "Can't we be just friends." What he wants and what he needs are two different things, or some nonsense like that. Cooper tells Audrey to put her clothes on while he goes to get some chocolate malts, and golly gee, they're going to talk the night away.
The next morning at the station, Lucy is still pissed at Andy for a reason unknown to Andy but soon known to us. Lucy gets a phone call from a doctor who has some information for Lucy. Lucy who had been out sick the day previously. Hmhmhm. I wonnnnder what that is.
The police are still using the doctor to do all their research for them, which I will continue to allow, because, remember, he's awesome. He discovers with a handy book that Waldo The Bird, when he's feeling "playful," is able to immitate sounds he's heard. But Waldo is far from playful, as he's spent days, weeks maybe, alone in a creepy as hell log cabin with nothing but a dreary record for company. Cooper (who doesn't like birds?) puts out a tape recorder, voice activated, to catch any mimicking that might ensue.
Hawk gives some handy information, stemming from the poker chip with the missing J that was found in the log cabin: Jacques works at One-Eyed Jacks. This means Cooper and The Bookhouse Boys are going to go take a look-see and gamble on the government's dime. 10 thou. Sounds good to me.
At Leo's charming homestead, Leo is lurking not at alllll conspicuously in the woods in his truck with a gun, binoculars, and a crude bandage on this arm. Bobby comes by, Leo grumbles under his breath about wanting to kill kill KILL. Inside, Shelly cries and tells Bobby what happened. Bobby tells Shelly she won't have to worry about Leo (or James..?) ever again. We'll just see about that. Leo continues to lurk outside with his gun, waiting for Bobby, to KILLLL, but he hears on his police monitor thing Lucy talking about a bird that talks. Uh oh, there's Waldo! Leo's gotta take care of that.
James, Donna, and Maddy are hanging out listening to Laura's tape to Jacoby. Laura sounds like a sex-line operator, which, hey, she might have been. She talks about naked dreams, Jacoby's coconut, and making it easy to get guys to like her. This enrages James, and he angrily THROWS the recorder at the wall and.. No, he just moodily creeps over and pushes stop. Maddy notices that there's an empty tape case, from the night Laura died, and the gang decide that Jacoby still has it. SO they decide they must, simply must get their hands on that tape. They are going to hoodwink the good doctor with a phone call from Laura, or Maddy pretending to be Laura.
At Horne's Department Store, we learn that Audrey should never ever ever work in sales again. While scaring some customers off, she notices Mr. Manager asks her fellow employee to join him in his office for a little chat. This is an opportunity Audrey can't miss. She saunters into Mr. Manager's office, snoops around, grabs a cigarette, and hides in the closet to overhear the conversation. And oy, the conversation.
The conversation is the maybe the worst shared scene of acting we've had so far, and we've seen a bunch of scenes with Pete and Josie, so that's saying something. Without Audrey's amusing presence, it would have been absolutely painful. But Audrey finds what she's looking for. Mr. Manager gives the girl a little glass unicorn, a sign of purity, and then tells her that, yes, she might make a very good whore at One-Eyed Jacks. He offers her a consistent job up at Jacks, and she takes it, as long as the men are wealthy.
The girl leaves her unicorn on the table, which Audrey grabs once the two leave the office. Audrey also finds a little black book on Mr. Manager's desk. The book is full of names of girls, and next to the names are... hearts.
I assume Mr. Manager isn't really a 13 year-old girl, but I could be wrong.
Audrey uses the unicorn to convince the new girl that she, too, was invited to go work up the way, and asks for the number to call "Black Rose." The girl is a bit suspicious, but she gives the number anyway.
At the Double R, Norma's homicidal husband plays nice with Shelly and gets out of her that "Big" Ed has been a "real help" to Norma while he's been gone. Yeah... Big Ed... And then he steals a lighter that he sees on the counter, because he's oh, so bad. Truman and Cooper come in, and Truman bitches out Hank about being on parole. Truman doesn't like Hank. Truman and Cooper give themselves their daily present of coffee, which Cooper gives a little speech about (Cooper, you zany fellow, you), and then we're gone.
Quick catch-up on Nadine, Ed's wife. She tried to make silent curtain rods. She made them with cotton balls and grease. They were silent. Silent! She was going to make a fortune! But her idea was rejected. And Ed tells her not to give up. And that's that. End.
Truman goes to confront Josie about her spy work at the hotel the day they were there. She tries to deny everything, but then she tells Truman that she followed Ben and Catherine to take pictures. Apparently she overheard a phone conversation with Catherine and Ben about burning down the mill. She cries. Truman comforts her and lies about not letting anything happen to her.
Later that same day, Cooper and and Big Ed dress up all fancy to head of to Jacks. They go incognito as oral surgeons. Never was there a more exciting occupation! Meanwhile, Audrey is searching for Cooper. She has somer urgent news, presumably something to do with her going up to Jacks. But Cooper is nowhere to be found. She leaves a note under Cooper's door and notices a Chinese guy checking into a room. Why not, right?
Catherine gets pestered by an insurance man who has some documents she doesn't approve of, blah blah blah. It's now obvious to her that Ben and Josie are trying to swindle her. Whatever, she's going to look over some papers and call him in the morning. And then she notices her hidden ledger is gone. OH NO.
Before the police set off for Jacks, they go back to the station for mustaches, wigs, and a microphone. In the next room, Waldo is talking. Then Waldo gets shot (by Leo, of course, who bolts). Cooper and the boys (and Lucy) go in to investigate, see the dead bird and their ruined Doughnut Feast No. 5, and listen to the tape. I get shivers at the sound, I must admit, of the bird. "Hello Waldo," "Laura," "don't go there," "hurting me," "stop it," and "Leo, no!"
Cut to One-Eyed Jacks. Let's look at the disguises:
Well. They tried. But Big Ed, now known as Fred The Oral Surgeon, hopes to get a look at Blacky's gum work, because he'd sure like to take a look under her hood. That's more like it. Fred's a prince. Ed plays craps, Cooper plays black jack.
Maddy sneaks downstairs and out the door to help Donna and James in their treacherous plan, and-
JESUS CHRIST Leland what are you doing there!
Maddy wears a blonde wig and she's filmed walking around holding the day's newspaper outside a white gazebo. The trio deliver this freshly filmed tape to Jacoby, and then Maddy calls with her Lauraness and tricks Jacoby into thinking that maybe she's alive. She gives him a random address to go to to meet her, but he notices that she's at a gazebo in the film. Jacoby's no fool. Still, he gets out of the office, making way for James and Donna to investigate while Maddy waits at the gazebo. Sigh. Never. Split. Up. Time and time again I've yelled this to all of you people inside my TV. For a major operation, NEVER SPLIT UP. But do you ever listen? Never. One of these days.. One of these days.
At The Great Northern, The Icelanders are singing. This irritates Ben. Everything about them irritates Ben. He just wants them to sign the goddamn contract for the investment. So they all decide to head off to One-Eyed Jacks to have a party and seal the deal. But befooore. Ben calls Josie and makes sure she's set for their dire plot. Yet standing next to Josie on the other line is Hank. What could this mean?
Audrey goes to One-Eyed Jacks and tries to get in. Blacky sees through some of her tricks, but lets her join the brothel because she's hot and can knot a cherry stem in her mouth.
Finally, Jacques comes to the black jack table Cooper is sitting at. That's all we see for now.
Oh. Bobby puts cocaine in James' motorcycle's gas tank. Just so you know. Might show up later on the test.
Cooper turns her down and says, "Can't we be just friends." What he wants and what he needs are two different things, or some nonsense like that. Cooper tells Audrey to put her clothes on while he goes to get some chocolate malts, and golly gee, they're going to talk the night away.
The next morning at the station, Lucy is still pissed at Andy for a reason unknown to Andy but soon known to us. Lucy gets a phone call from a doctor who has some information for Lucy. Lucy who had been out sick the day previously. Hmhmhm. I wonnnnder what that is.
The police are still using the doctor to do all their research for them, which I will continue to allow, because, remember, he's awesome. He discovers with a handy book that Waldo The Bird, when he's feeling "playful," is able to immitate sounds he's heard. But Waldo is far from playful, as he's spent days, weeks maybe, alone in a creepy as hell log cabin with nothing but a dreary record for company. Cooper (who doesn't like birds?) puts out a tape recorder, voice activated, to catch any mimicking that might ensue.
Hawk gives some handy information, stemming from the poker chip with the missing J that was found in the log cabin: Jacques works at One-Eyed Jacks. This means Cooper and The Bookhouse Boys are going to go take a look-see and gamble on the government's dime. 10 thou. Sounds good to me.
At Leo's charming homestead, Leo is lurking not at alllll conspicuously in the woods in his truck with a gun, binoculars, and a crude bandage on this arm. Bobby comes by, Leo grumbles under his breath about wanting to kill kill KILL. Inside, Shelly cries and tells Bobby what happened. Bobby tells Shelly she won't have to worry about Leo (or James..?) ever again. We'll just see about that. Leo continues to lurk outside with his gun, waiting for Bobby, to KILLLL, but he hears on his police monitor thing Lucy talking about a bird that talks. Uh oh, there's Waldo! Leo's gotta take care of that.
James, Donna, and Maddy are hanging out listening to Laura's tape to Jacoby. Laura sounds like a sex-line operator, which, hey, she might have been. She talks about naked dreams, Jacoby's coconut, and making it easy to get guys to like her. This enrages James, and he angrily THROWS the recorder at the wall and.. No, he just moodily creeps over and pushes stop. Maddy notices that there's an empty tape case, from the night Laura died, and the gang decide that Jacoby still has it. SO they decide they must, simply must get their hands on that tape. They are going to hoodwink the good doctor with a phone call from Laura, or Maddy pretending to be Laura.
At Horne's Department Store, we learn that Audrey should never ever ever work in sales again. While scaring some customers off, she notices Mr. Manager asks her fellow employee to join him in his office for a little chat. This is an opportunity Audrey can't miss. She saunters into Mr. Manager's office, snoops around, grabs a cigarette, and hides in the closet to overhear the conversation. And oy, the conversation.
The conversation is the maybe the worst shared scene of acting we've had so far, and we've seen a bunch of scenes with Pete and Josie, so that's saying something. Without Audrey's amusing presence, it would have been absolutely painful. But Audrey finds what she's looking for. Mr. Manager gives the girl a little glass unicorn, a sign of purity, and then tells her that, yes, she might make a very good whore at One-Eyed Jacks. He offers her a consistent job up at Jacks, and she takes it, as long as the men are wealthy.
The girl leaves her unicorn on the table, which Audrey grabs once the two leave the office. Audrey also finds a little black book on Mr. Manager's desk. The book is full of names of girls, and next to the names are... hearts.
I assume Mr. Manager isn't really a 13 year-old girl, but I could be wrong.
Audrey uses the unicorn to convince the new girl that she, too, was invited to go work up the way, and asks for the number to call "Black Rose." The girl is a bit suspicious, but she gives the number anyway.
At the Double R, Norma's homicidal husband plays nice with Shelly and gets out of her that "Big" Ed has been a "real help" to Norma while he's been gone. Yeah... Big Ed... And then he steals a lighter that he sees on the counter, because he's oh, so bad. Truman and Cooper come in, and Truman bitches out Hank about being on parole. Truman doesn't like Hank. Truman and Cooper give themselves their daily present of coffee, which Cooper gives a little speech about (Cooper, you zany fellow, you), and then we're gone.
Quick catch-up on Nadine, Ed's wife. She tried to make silent curtain rods. She made them with cotton balls and grease. They were silent. Silent! She was going to make a fortune! But her idea was rejected. And Ed tells her not to give up. And that's that. End.
Truman goes to confront Josie about her spy work at the hotel the day they were there. She tries to deny everything, but then she tells Truman that she followed Ben and Catherine to take pictures. Apparently she overheard a phone conversation with Catherine and Ben about burning down the mill. She cries. Truman comforts her and lies about not letting anything happen to her.
Later that same day, Cooper and and Big Ed dress up all fancy to head of to Jacks. They go incognito as oral surgeons. Never was there a more exciting occupation! Meanwhile, Audrey is searching for Cooper. She has somer urgent news, presumably something to do with her going up to Jacks. But Cooper is nowhere to be found. She leaves a note under Cooper's door and notices a Chinese guy checking into a room. Why not, right?
Catherine gets pestered by an insurance man who has some documents she doesn't approve of, blah blah blah. It's now obvious to her that Ben and Josie are trying to swindle her. Whatever, she's going to look over some papers and call him in the morning. And then she notices her hidden ledger is gone. OH NO.
Before the police set off for Jacks, they go back to the station for mustaches, wigs, and a microphone. In the next room, Waldo is talking. Then Waldo gets shot (by Leo, of course, who bolts). Cooper and the boys (and Lucy) go in to investigate, see the dead bird and their ruined Doughnut Feast No. 5, and listen to the tape. I get shivers at the sound, I must admit, of the bird. "Hello Waldo," "Laura," "don't go there," "hurting me," "stop it," and "Leo, no!"
Cut to One-Eyed Jacks. Let's look at the disguises:
Well. They tried. But Big Ed, now known as Fred The Oral Surgeon, hopes to get a look at Blacky's gum work, because he'd sure like to take a look under her hood. That's more like it. Fred's a prince. Ed plays craps, Cooper plays black jack.
Maddy sneaks downstairs and out the door to help Donna and James in their treacherous plan, and-
JESUS CHRIST Leland what are you doing there!
Maddy wears a blonde wig and she's filmed walking around holding the day's newspaper outside a white gazebo. The trio deliver this freshly filmed tape to Jacoby, and then Maddy calls with her Lauraness and tricks Jacoby into thinking that maybe she's alive. She gives him a random address to go to to meet her, but he notices that she's at a gazebo in the film. Jacoby's no fool. Still, he gets out of the office, making way for James and Donna to investigate while Maddy waits at the gazebo. Sigh. Never. Split. Up. Time and time again I've yelled this to all of you people inside my TV. For a major operation, NEVER SPLIT UP. But do you ever listen? Never. One of these days.. One of these days.
At The Great Northern, The Icelanders are singing. This irritates Ben. Everything about them irritates Ben. He just wants them to sign the goddamn contract for the investment. So they all decide to head off to One-Eyed Jacks to have a party and seal the deal. But befooore. Ben calls Josie and makes sure she's set for their dire plot. Yet standing next to Josie on the other line is Hank. What could this mean?
Audrey goes to One-Eyed Jacks and tries to get in. Blacky sees through some of her tricks, but lets her join the brothel because she's hot and can knot a cherry stem in her mouth.
Finally, Jacques comes to the black jack table Cooper is sitting at. That's all we see for now.
Oh. Bobby puts cocaine in James' motorcycle's gas tank. Just so you know. Might show up later on the test.
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