Cooper flirts with Audrey so hard while he makes her prove that she slipped the "Jack with One Eye" note under his door ("Audrey, that rightward slant in your handwriting indicates a romantic nature. A heart that yearns... Be careful."), it makes everyone wish she could be maybe a couple years older than 18. But Cooper quickly suppresses his lust and gets rid of Audrey before Truman arrives at his table. Professionalism is key.Beneath that sexual tension, however, there was some important information. Apart from Cooper getting Audrey to tell him stuff he already knew, about prostitutes and whatnot, he did learn that Laura used to work at Audrey's father's store, Horne's Department Store. The same store where Ronnette Pulaski worked, perfume section. Also, there is a possibility that Laura worked at One-Eyed Jacks.
When Truman and Lucy sit down to join Cooper for breakfast, Special Agent Cooper whisks away his sultry side and gets down to talking about griddle cakes, ham, and goshdarnit maple syrup ain't it the swellest. But Truman, for some reason, doesn't want to talk about food, but rather the phone call from the previous night, in which Cooper said he knew who killed Laura Palmer. Cooper then proceeds to describe his dream much more succinctly than I managed, and then says that, oh yeah, he forgot who killed Laura. Ohhhh well, no big thing. It's not like that's the reason why he's there.
At the morgue, Albert is trying to do his job, but these damned hillbilly doctors won't let him. "I have travelled thousands of miles and apparently several centuries to this forgotten sinkhole to perform some tests. I do not ask you to understand these tests, I am not a cruel man, I just ask you to get the hell out of my way so I can finish my work! Is that clear?" Zingers, Albert's got 'em. Albert's job is to examine Laura's body for evidence, and why can't he do it? Because the funeral is in, like, an hour, and they kind of need her for the coffin. I can see both sides of this argument. Sheriff Truman comes in and gives Albert "the old, rustic sucker punch." Cooper quietly tells Truman to go wait in the car like a good boy, and demands Albert play nice and not drill a nasty old hole in Laura Palmer's head.
Dream Clue One: Leland is sitting on his couch watching the town's favorite soap opera, Invitation to Love, when Laura walks in. No, not Laura, Madeleine, Laura's brunette cousin who looks exactly like her. Ohhh look, Cooper's dream is coming true. Wait, does this mean that the midget is Laura? I could get behind that.
Dream Clue Two: Albert later informs Cooper that Laura's wrists were tied with twine, bending her arms back. Remember, "Sometimes my arms bend back." Albert gives some amazing insight. He found a lot, including scratches from an animal on Laura's skin, and a piece of plastic in Laura's stomach with the letter J on it. J again. Noticing a trend? Albert then attempts to get Cooper to sign a paper describing the previous sucker punch events, but Cooper refuses and rants about how, gee whiz, Twin Peaks is swell town. To quote Albert again, "Sounds like you've been snacking on some of the local mushrooms." Once Albert is gone, Cooper makes a note to Diane to help him find a place to live in Twin Peaks. Oy.
Cooper and Truman go pay Leo Johnson a visit. Cooper keeps up his trend of asking people questions he knows the answers to: Did you know Laura Palmer? Have you ever been convicted of a crime? Leo lies on both., and then probably lies for the next question about where he was the night Laura died. He says Montana. I don't believe it. I doubt Cooper does. Do you?
Prepping for the funeral: James rides his bike to Ed's house only to tell him that he's not going to the funeral, then storms off. Audrey sneaks into a cubby hole at The Great Northern and spies on her family through a hole in a wall. Dr. Jacoby is comforting her brother, Johnny, convincing him to take off his Native American headdress. And in another awesome conversation between Bobby and his father the General, Bobby informs his father that he is going to TURN the funeral up.side.DOWN. And boy, does he.
James ends up showing at the funeral, to sulk behind a tree. Bobby makes a well-practiced spontaneous outburst about everyone being a hypocrite, and says that THEY killed Laura. WE ALL DID. Bobby and James get into a bit of a slow-motion scuffle, with lots of, "YOU ARE DEAD! YOU'RE A DEAD MAN!" Leland just can't take other people being more crazy than he and his wife, so he starts screaming again and jumps on the coffin. The mother quickly joins in with the screaming, and asks him not to "ruin THIS, too." I sense a story there.
I sort of lose interest here, or maybe it's just because I got hungry and started making some pasta without hitting pause. Cooper, Hawk, Big(?) Ed, and Truman meet up at Norma's Double R Diner, and start talking about shutting down this Jacques Renault guy and some French-Canadian drug-dealers. But then Truman gets down to business. He talks about something evil in the woods (and suddenly my interest is back) that has been "out there for as long as anyone can remember." These three local men are a member of a little club, a club formed TO FIGHT EVIL. They're called The Bookhouse Boys. Because they're stationed in a bookhouse. They all take a little trip to the bookhouse, where we meet up with a younger Renault with the worst attempt at a French-Canadian accent I have ever heard. He had cocaine, they want to find the brother, Jacques, so on and so forth, can we get back to the evil woods now?
Jacques sees a red light over a building, which is obviously some sort of signal that all is not well. He calls Leo and asks for help. Leo rushes off and Shelly comes home with a gun to hide in a table. Smart girl. I love her.
During one of their romantic evenings alone, Josie tells the Sheriff about the ledgers in Catherine's secret room. They go to check it out, but Catherine took out one to hide the evidence. Catherine is listening to them over the intercom, so see, she's smart, I guess. Catherine scolds Pete for helping Sophie, but Pete just doesn't care anymore. Who does? Sheriff tells Sophie that nothing's gonna harm her, not while he's around. Nothing's gonna harm her, no sir- And then they do it on the floor.
Cooper watches a man in a cloak and a great hat go to Laura's grave at night. It's Jacoby. He didn't go to the funeral, because he hates people. But he loved Laura. It's a touching scene, I'm a fan of it. It's Russ Tamblyn, you know?
Cooper and Hawk have a spiritual chat at either The Roadhouse or The Great Northern. Leland walks in, and demands to dance with people while Glenn Miller plays. He starts to scream a bit again, then he curls into a ball on the floor.
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